Last night, I crawled into bed and pulled out my journal. We don’t have an actual punching bag at our house so my journal has to step up to the plate. As I wrote out my feelings, God highlighted my sin to me. Rather than feeling destroyed by the sin God exposed, I felt gently corrected in a way only He could do.
Worrying is a habitual sin for me. Somewhere along the line, I started thinking that if I really, truly cared about something, I was required to worry about it. I know, this is opposite of what God says, but for some reason, I catch myself still believing the lie.
Writing out my prayers in my journal does a lot for my soul. It helps my thoughts calm down. It helps me see my words in black in white. It helps me hand it all over to God. As I wrote last night, I spilled out my worries of this life. Finally, I found myself writing out the truth that I know.
I know God loves me. I know God will provide.
I wish I could tell you that these truth statements immediately calmed me down and let me feel confident in God’s ability to provide for us. Sadly, all those truth statements still needed some backing up for me in that moment.
My attitude surfaced in this private time with God.
My rational logic was refusing to surrender to the words of His truth. My mind kept rounding the truth about what I know about God. He loves me. He provides. He’s got this. That’s when I scribbled out the question on my heart with more sass than necessary,
“God, Can I have your word on that?”
I laughed at myself a little in that moment and said, “Why, yes, I most definitely can.” I have God’s word on His promises. Those precious words are recorded in a book I keep on my nightstand. He knew I would need to see His words and hold them in my hands to be reminded daily.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NIV)
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-11 (NIV)
Scripture. That’s God’s word on the matter at hand. God’s word backed up my hope that He would provide all my needs. God’s word backed up my desire to be taken care of.
I can always have His word.
God loves us.
God will take care of us.
God knows what He’s doing and it’s for our good.